Helpmate

Complementing our husbands.

Hamtele Ottschofski was born in Finland, grew up in Sweden and England, and married a German pastor with whom she has been actively involved in the ministry in Germany and in Central Africa, She has four daughters. She loves music and sewing, as well as reading and writing.

When God created Eve, He wanted to give Adam a partner who would be a perfect fit. He wanted the two to be intellectually, psychologically and physically suited for one another. Man and woman were created to be a perfect pair; they were created to bring each other joy and happiness.

During a wedding, both the man and woman make vows and promise to love, respect and honor the other. Each partner promises to care for the other in health and sickness, in good days or bad, through thick and thin until death parts them. These promises are not given lightly.

As a pastor's wife, T have given much thought to this subject. In today's world, the central theme is, "I am important." Of course, this is a true statement. Every person is important. We should love ourselves, otherwise, we can't love our neighbors. If each partner in a marriage loves his/her partner as himself/herself, there would be no problem. But, unfortunately, this is not always true.

For many of us, it seems our partners love themselves more than they love us. Our first reaction is to force them to give us the love that is our due. We insist on our rights! We think, "It is my right not only to give, but to take as well." But, if we remember our wedding vows, there is nothing about taking, the vows are all about giving. Acts 20:35 says, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Of course, in a marriage, this works both ways. If one partner feels he or she is the only one giving, problems arise.

But, for the Christian woman, the world does not revolve around her. Neither does her world revolve around her husband. She knows she does not need to be totally dependent on her spouse. The Christian woman realizes her fulfillment is based on her relationship with Christ, She is not one who constantly focuses on women's rights. Neither does she think her sole interest should be the nurturing of her husband and children. Though she wants to please her husband, she wants to please Christ more. The Christian women endeavors to balance the expectations of family, society and church; she wants to submit to our Lord Jesus and let Him guide her actions. She adheres to the verse found in 2 Timothy 1:9, "Who hath saved us, called [us] with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ before the world began."

Women have needs that need to be met if they are to have good mental health. Love, acceptance, recognition and purpose are examples of such needs. It is my belief that these needs will be fulfilled if women give to others what they would like to receive themselves. Demanding fulfillment for self is not the answer; God gives us gifts which we should share with others. Sometimes we receive recognition for what we do, more often, we do not. Our feelings of worth should be dependent on the fact that God loves us and for Him, we are of great worth.

When God made Eve, He made her as a partner for Adam. Isn't it wonderful that we can fulfil God's plan for us when we help our husbands? Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. When two people do something together, their strengths can complement one another's. That is why teamwork is so effective; it is useful and beneficial in marriage.

Christians have one goal—to carry the Gospel into all the world. It is our most important duty in life. As helpmates, we can complement our husbands and work to make sure this goal is reached.

Hamtele Ottschofski was born in Finland, grew up in Sweden and England, and married a German pastor with whom she has been actively involved in the ministry in Germany and in Central Africa, She has four daughters. She loves music and sewing, as well as reading and writing.