My husband is involved with a very active church plant. He is gone all the time, leaving me and our two children home alone on a regular basis. While I am very excited about the growth this church is experiencing . . . it has transformed our schedule and home life to say the least. I am thrilled with the endless opportunities that accompany this wonderful adventure. I love watching my husband engaging in this ministry, but deep down I am
very lonely and miss our life before “the plant.”
How can I continue my enthusiasm and support while struggling with these feelings?
Dear Flying Solo,
I recently listened to a “seasoned” pastor’s wife describe a similar scenario. She described how the loneliness had set in very early in their pastoral ministry. She shared the woes of missing her husband and the disappointments of limited family time.
She faced two options. The first: continue in hopes that the lonely times would get easier. The second: discuss with her husband the possibility of a new schedule. She chose the latter.
Believe it or not, her husband was completely unaware of her feelings about the schedule. He immediately made necessary changes and delegated some responsibilities to prospective leaders. It was a win-win situation for the family, the church plant, and the new leaders!
In most cases like yours, a heartfelt talk may alleviate many real and perceived concerns. Then try some of the following ideas for times your husband must meet ministry commitments:
1. Get together weekly with other leaders’ wives for fellowship, study, and prayer.
2. Set “play-dates” with your friends and their children.
3. Bake bread or other homemade items to share with your neighbors.
4. Join your husband whenever possible as he fulfills his responsibilities.
When we work together and encourage each other, we can further the ministry of our husbands and expand the kingdom. We belong to a special calling, a collective group of women called to serve God as the wives of pastors.
Blessings as you serve!