DO YOU HAVE A HARD TIME saying no, setting boundaries, or recognizing when overload is occurring? Managing stress involves making choices, forming priorities, adopting attitudes, and taking actions that enable you to maximize your potential without overloading your abilities.
• Decide which issues are worth engaging your physical, emotional, and mental energy and which ones are better left alone or handled in a low-key manner. Many situations resolve themselves with time and patience. Being intense does not always improve a situation—but it can actually compound a problem, intimidate others, and incapacitate you. Often the way we relate to a situation is more exhausting than the situation itself!
• Watch for early signs of burnout before they become incapacitating. Some of the symptoms of burnout are inability to focus on a task, feeling rundown and drained of energy, constant negative thinking about your job or role, inability to cope with daily frustrations, and interpersonal conflict.
• Change your routine when feeling burned out. It may be time for physical, mental, and spiritual renewal. Give your brain and body a refreshing change. If you are sedentary and do a lot of heavy mental work, enjoy a day at the zoo (without reading the facts about every animal). If you do heavy construction or work at a monotonous job, take a class in an area of interest, or enjoy a day relaxing at the park with a challenging book. Remember that in God’s view, there is nothing unimportant about your life. He has a plan for you.
• Choose ahead of time how you will relate to anticipated stressful situations. Most of us can identify emotional weak spots. We can strengthen weak areas by rehearsing better ways of meeting challenges and putting these strategies into practice. Dealing appropriately with people and situations is a great stress saver. Decide that you will do your best, then let God do the rest.
• Mentally rehearse calm and appropriate responses and practice putting things in perspective. The knowledge that you have dealt with a situation in a calm and thoughtful way instead of engaging in a lot of energy-draining, emotionally charged reactions helps you gain strength to respond to the many demands of the day. You are helping others think things through, as well as preserving your own resources!
• Take time out to reflect and pray about a problem before you act. Look at the big picture and try to find the positives in every situation. There is always a big picture to consider in every situation—a long-term goal as well as short-term plans. Consider what is best for the overall picture and resist the temptation to go mountain climbing over molehills.
BALANCE
People who are chronically stressed often feel their lives are out of control. To many, life seems like a frantic relay race as they fly from project to project, playing catch-up and putting out fires instead of setting their own pace and schedule. Balancing your life puts you back in control and helps you avoid unnecessary stress. Here are some tips:
• Limit the number of decisions you make in a day and when you make them, as far as possible. Making decisions late at night and when you are hungry stresses the nervous system. Some decisions cannot be delayed, but others can be prioritized and attended to when you feel prepared. Some people have a character trait of needing to solve everything, understand everything, and direct everything right now! Learning to let go of this kind of control can be a good thing and make you a more pleasant person to be around.
• Monitor your schedule, including the amount and intensity of your activities. Even children today complain of having so many items in their schedule that they have no downtime, no time to relax. From soccer to cello, their days are more overscheduled than those of many adults, and they are suffering from stress as a result.
• Avoid clutter. Houses today are built 20 percent larger than just a decade ago, and we are filling them with more stuff than they can hold! That may be why self-storage and storage shed sales are such thriving businesses in America. The more we accumulate, the more we have to focus on the care, management, and expense of all that stuff. This drains time and energy that could be used for more useful, important, and refreshing enterprises. Simplify your life by getting rid of useless stuff!
• Eliminate personal debt, especially credit card debt, and don’t buy on impulse. It is easy to rack up debt from impulse buying or buying when under stress. Denying an impulse purchase takes discipline and forces you to deal with stress in a more productive way. Remember that it only adds to stress to lie in bed at night wondering how to pay all those bills! One minister put it this way: “If the Lord doesn’t send it, I don’t spend it!” Many families commit to waiting 24 hours before making any purchase over a given amount, such as $100. This is a great way to avoid needless spending and stressful debt.
• Get there on time. It is a great source of frustration and stress to always be running late. It affects those who are depending on you, as well as your own sense of control. If you habitually run late, remember there are people just as busy as you who get to their appointments on time. What is the secret to being on time? Don’t overestimate how much you can squeeze into the time before your appointment, and don’t underestimate how much time it will take you to pack, prepare, and travel to your destination. Be realistic in your assessment of what you can and cannot do in a given period of time, and plan to be at your appointments early. You will be more relaxed and in control when you get there.
• Regulate the rate of change taking place in your life at one time, including jobs, moving, travel, and even holidays. Set a realistic schedule and build consistency into your life.
• Identify your most important goals and prioritize your time accordingly. Pare down, or you’ll wear down!Remember: Good is the enemy of best. There is no end of good things to do, but maybe we need to focus on what is best and give ourselves some breathing room.
• Take time to help others—it’s a good way to put your own life in perspective. A self-centered life is an exhausting and stressful life. Taking an interest in the needs and goals of others can be a source of joy and fulfillment, as well as fill a vital role in your community.
